In life, and especially when dealing with money, some people really struggle to find a workable solution to their goals . Problems often arise because, while people have no issue setting goals, they don’t have the patience to stick with their plan instead of choosing an easier, and falsely rewarding path. Success is a journey, and usually that journey takes a considerable amount of time and effort.  It takes real discipline to prevent impatience from placing a detour in the road as you are working toward financial peace.

So what is success?

A common dictionary definition says it’s “the accumulation of money or material possessions, prestige, or power,” but funny enough, just gaining money or power aren’t necessarily the motivation toward success. Success looks different for everybody. Contemplate your definition. Is it being not necessarily wealthy but financially secure? Is it working in your dream job? Is it being comfortable enough that you are able to help others? Is it improving your family’s food security? Or to cover your lifestyle in retirement, support your children through college, or travel every year. Knowing your personal vision of success will help you stay on the road. Make success personal.

Once you have an idea of what kind of success you value – what does it take to get there? If you want to amass wealth but you’re living paycheck to paycheck with little or no savings, some things will have to change. Chances are you haven’t yet discovered how to distinguish wishes and wants from genuine needs; and even if you earn a promotion and pay increase, or land a better job the money still manages to vanish just as quickly as ever. It’s time to take a lesson from the wealthy — spend less than you earn. Whether you are making $25,000 a year or $2.5 million dollars the principle is the same.

Building wealth is a slow and consistent process. To start you need to take a cold, hard look at your true needs, not what those around you are telling you that you need. Then invest some time evaluating the lifestyle you lead today and what you can do to live more sensibly and frugally so that you can build a plan to help you reach your vision of success. The key is to be completely honest with yourself and remember that your needs are going to vary from those of your neighbors, friends, and even members of your own family.

Evaluating your real needs

Evaluating your needs can be tricky. For instance, you may need an expensive high-speed computer if you are in a computer related field; but do you really need the top of the line model just to check social media and watch movies? Probably not. Maybe you have always wanted a shiny new heavy-duty truck, but do you want It just to look ‘cool’ on your gas-guzzling 20-minute drive to your office job? Or do you run a farm or hauling service where a large truck is needed? Many people are great at justifying big purchases like these. You might be tempted to think, “oh but I can learn this new skill or help my family and neighbors move when they need me!” The truth is there are much less expensive options, this is just a weak justification for blowing your budget to get what you want.

The same thing goes for the saying “a little hole can sink a big ship”. Buying coffee every morning, eating lunches out, concert tickets, the daily run to the snack machine, the little ‘extras’ at the grocery store — they all add up. All of these little things seemingly miniscule and affordable at the moment eat away at not only your budget, but your plans for success.

Consider any personal habits or pre-conceived notions you may have about driving a certain car, living in a certain neighborhood, avoiding public transportation in favor of your own vehicle, paying for annual passes, studying at a certain school, or only eating expensive foods. Plugging the holes in your spending will go a long way to helping your reach your goals.

Consider the following:

• Shop around until you find the less expensive grocery stores in your area instead of always going to the one closest to you. These stores may not have nice little displays and you may have to bag your own groceries but you’ll see big savings on your food budget.

…Better yet, consider buying kitchen and household items, and even some of your groceries, at the dollar store. You might be surprised by the savings.

• Choose a book or movie channel subscription and enjoy the provided media rather than paying to rent or buy individual entertainment one by one. Consider rotating between paid services every few months instead of piling on subscriptions just to catch shows you like.

…Better yet, just get a local library card and find books and movies for free.

• Shop around for clothing and buy next year’s clothing in the sale racks at the end of the current season.

…Better yet, check out the offerings at your local second-hand store, especially for kids’ clothing and other basics.

• Avoid using meal pickup services to avoid their extra delivery premiums. Instead choose local restaurants you can get to for pickup easily. Stick to their main menu items and avoid pricey drinks and dessert add-ons.

…better yet, talk to your friends and collect their favorite recipes and try cooking fresh meals at home.

• Rather than buying ‘stuff’ for birthdays and holidays (or any days), consider getting people ‘experiences’ like lessons, or entry to an event.

…better yet, you be their experience! Find some time to teach them a skill you are good at, or offer them a service they will find helpful.

Indulging your children

Choosing between wants and needs becomes even harder if you have children, especially if you want the best for them. Do any of the following sound familiar?

• My child needs to go to the best school, or, they need the latest things to be successful in school.
• Lots of toys, games and kits improve my child’s creativity and learning.
• I can’t stand to say no and hear my child cry when we are out. It’s embarrassing.
• My child is bored if he doesn’t have something new to play with and I don’t have time for that.
• I waited a long time to have a child, and I have the right to spoil them if I want.
• I work long hours, so by giving my child things they’ll know I still care about them.
• I want my children to fit in with their friends.

It’s important that children have creative learning opportunities, but be very selective in what is provided for them. A toddler is just as happy with a stick and a box as they are with the latest expensive learning toy. Giving a 10-year old a brand-new iPhone, or spending tons of money on video games, building sets and kits, or even buying books vs. checking them out at the library can easily lead to overindulgence and a hole in your budget.

The same thing goes for the quest to give them the best of everything. Sometimes it’s just not possible or prudent to go that route. Teaching children about the importance of a budget and including them in household spending decisions so they can learn to choose between needs vs wants, is a life skill that can be even more valuable than a private education or a room full of toys.

Keep impulse buying under control

Besides the monetary cost of impulse buying there is also an ‘opportunity cost’. That is the value of the thing you gave up because you chose something else. For instance, when you decide to use your holiday bonus to buy a new phone, you give up an opportunity to pay down debt or add to your 401k. If you choose to go on vacation you may not have enough to cover maintenance costs when your car breaks down. Or if you live a lifestyle that keeps you living paycheck to paycheck without saving for an emergency, when you experience a job loss or health issues you won’t have the means to take care of even the basics.

Here are a few ways to keep impulse buying under control.

• Create a list of items you need at the store, stick to the list and review it before you leave the store so you don’t have to justify making a second trip.
• Make as few trips to the store as possible and avoid malls and shopping complexes entirely if possible.
• Give yourself a time limit in the store.
• Avoid shopping channels and product magazines.
• Avoid sales except for necessities. It’s too easy to justify impulse items when they’re on sale.
• Don’t use shopping as entertainment. Develop a desire for experiences rather than things.
• Ask a shopping buddy to go with you to keep you to your commitment.
• Don’t leave your savings until the leftovers at end of the month. Plan your savings and safeguard it as soon as you are paid.

The motivation to find financial security comes from our vision of success and good habits are the fuel that keeps us making progress. Each good spending habit you develop helps you keep the focus on bigger and better things. It’s the everyday choices you make that add up to eventual success.

If you would like help along the way, our certified counselors can help you find ways to reduce your debt, create a workable budget, make bill paying easier, and take some of the stress off of the many financial decisions you may need to make. Feel free to visit our website at www.ffef.org